


That was not Human

by Tea_is_Not_Them



Series: Outside Perspectives of Good Omens [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Gravity Falls
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, POV Outsider, Snake Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24207415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_is_Not_Them/pseuds/Tea_is_Not_Them
Summary: Dipper Pines meets a weird demon in the woods, his name was Crowley.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Outside Perspectives of Good Omens [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747156
Comments: 8
Kudos: 198





	That was not Human

Dipper Pines was a supernatural expert. From age twelve onward he has been through almost Weirdmaggedon, strange woods, and hijinks.

That being said, most thing in the woods are peaceful with him now, him being the only human that dares bridge gaps between humanity and super natal. So when he heard of a new thing in the pods of course he was confused.

“A huge snake? Are you sure it’s magical?” He asked the gnomes one day while sitting on a stump.

“Oh yes! It reals of bad magic! And it’s always hissing about something, sounding all human.” Jeff replies, before leaving to make sure the other gnomes weren’t killing each other.

Weird. Nothing new ever comes to Gravity Falls, not without a reason. And bad magic? What is this thing? Dipper chews on his pen, wondering if this is another threat to the world. 

———-

He slips back into the woods to gather supplies, and finds himself face to face with the snake the gnomes were talking about. He actually could feel the bad vibes standing near the thing, it was worse than standing next to bill during weirdmageddon.

It was huge. He didn’t mean in a normal way, which you describe a black snake on the road, no this was worthy of a journal entry. Absolutely massive with black scales and a red underbelly. It looked to be 30 feet long!

It’s eyes narrowed in an almost human way, which was weird, because Dipper knew that snakes did not have eyelids.

Dipper opened his mouth, shut it, and opened it again. Writing frantically in the journal not even breaking eye contact with the thing.

“Ello?” It asked, sounding like it had just woken up from a long nap.

Dipper let out a very undignified scream, before calming himself, reminding himself that he fought a demon once.

“Hello.”

“Sssssorry to bother, but where am I?” The snake asks, slithering ever closer.

“Uh, Gravity Falls woods, where are you from originally then?”

The snake looks around, “England.”

That explained the slight accent he heard under the hiss. Dipper was still writing things down, and the snake looked curious at it. The now adult showed the journal with a flush, was it rude to take note on strangers who were also magic snakes?

“Oh! Ssssnake beassst, long time since I heard that one... now where exactly isss Gravity Fallsss?” He sounded amused as all can get out. 

“Oregon, in America.” Dipper answers dutifully, the snake made an irritant noise.

“Whot year isss it?” It asked.

“Uhh, 2020?”

“Ah hell.”

Dipper curiously watches the snake move it’s head like it was scolding a child.

“You aren’t a monster killer are you kid?” The snake asks and Dipper looks appalled.

“I am a supernatural Journalist. I help the weird stay alive and in peace with the people.”

The snake nods, “great great.”

He sees the snake start to shift, the grotesque popping and crushing and shifting noises make him wince a little. There where the snake was, a man stood in a black suit and unnatural red hair. 

“Alright now where is my phone?” The once-snake-now-man asked himself quietly and Dipper is practically shaking in excitement.

“Can I know what you are? It’s be nice to add new things to the journal and-“

The man looked at him with a raised brow and gave a smirk, “yeah sure.”

“I am a demon, retired demon.” He said with finality, leaving Dipper in a stupor, he looks at him.

“You’re not going to kill me and take over the world are you?” He asks, his voice surprisingly even.

The demon looks confused and his face twists up, “oh he- heav- no! I’m retired- you know what that word means right? And really I stopped the apocalypse too."

“Well sorry last Demon I ran into possessed me, so I’m cautious.” Dipper replies indignantly. 

The demon looks surprised, “oh what demon has been here before, I’m the only one who was stationed on earth?” He says it more to himself but Dipper answers.

“Bill Cipher? Dream demon?”

The demon looks confused and then laughs, really really hard. He’s practically hissing and wheezing by the end.

“Go- Sat- someone! I hope you holy watered him! He’s a wanker.” The demon said, before composing himself, his eyes were slits, but snake like, not Bill-Like. The differences where slight but really unique as he stared.

“Uh yeah, we banished and erased him.” Dipper replied, before the sound of wings came from behind him. He twirls ready to be face to face with a creature, where a man instead stood.

He looked the opposite to the redhead demon. Where the redhead was tall this man was short, where the demon was twig thin the man was fairly chubby.

“Angel!!” The demon said in delight.

The man, dubbed angel in Dipper;s Brain now, looks at the demon with a raised brow and a smile about the break through.

“Crowley what on earth have you been doing?” Angel asked, Dipper watch’s his hand that held a sword fall to the side.

“Oh ya know, snaking around, getting lost and napping. As you do.” He says, seeming almost embarrassed.

Angel rolls his eyes at Crowley and looks at Dipper, “and who are you dear?”

“Dipper Pines, supernatural journalist.”

Angel nods and looks at his book, with a careful eyes. Dipper notices something weird about the man, his eyes began to hurt looking at him too long and he started seeing lights around him. Shadows of something danced in his vision. The short portly man looked bigger and then smaller, as if wavering between this world and the next. 

Dipper had always had more of a keen eyes for Supernatural beings, so this man was definitely not human. Another demon? Or an angel, like the name suggested?

The blond man began to look less and less human in his brain, but he just smiled, and the man nodded at him. Angel looks a little worried at him and reaches a hand out, but then aborts the movement. Dipper had flinched.

Now that he notices he sees the demons eyes glow through his sunglasses, and shadow's danced around his vision of him too. A hissing came from the demon's vicinity. And a dull high pitched humming lightly poured from the other man's direction.

“We must be off now, do be careful out here dear.”

He hears the sound of wings and sees to spots in the sky floating farther away from his vision.

———

Journal entry

Demon

Status- harmless/docile

Name- Crowley

Can turn into a huge snake, has gold snake eyes and red hair. Originally from London, hates Bill Cipher. Seems to have a things for dramatics.

When meeting him he was a snake and changed once assured that no harm would befall him. Another man shaped being came from nowhere and seems to be called Angel.

No further information.

Picture not drawn to scale


End file.
